Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
Oh Allah I beg You to forgive my harshness! HELP & GUIDE me. Allah I have shown you I do not know how to deal with trials you have given me without losing myself. I lost control of my emotions and hurt not just myself but Your creation. Allah, I am feeling this hurt this frustration, I have brought it on myself. I am the one to blame I lose my composure, dignity and self-respect when I react so foolishly. Oh Allah, I keep humiliating myself again and again by my vain words and actions when I am confronted by perfect challenges you put on me to test me. Allah, I am a weak man who lacks self-restraint. I show the lack of tolerance and fail myself and You when faced with these hardships I now see as my blessings. Oh Allah, why do I lose patience and ability to endure torments when they come to me. Allah Allah, I am a complete wreck! truly a troubled and disturbed soul as I have proved so often, My weak heart lacks Iman, It is I who damages this Iman which you have given to me to strengthen and maintain. Forgive me for having such miserable weakness in my character. Allah my God, I feel helpless. I seek your refuge. I am a failure! I am remorseful for my words and actions that I didn't show gratefulness towards You. Now l am more then ashamed of myself, Forgive me. I cry to You for not having patience to endure, for the vision I lack and the forgetfulness I show. Consciousness I claim to have I truly do not have, humility is something no one will see in me because I am arrogant, Please have mercy on me. Please let this not be the example I show to others anymore, Grant me ability and a heart that is content glorifying You always, grant me a face that is shining with the light of Your Iman. I am aware of Your presence but I still fail myself with my own personal desire and ego please bestow me with a mind that is tranquil, a soul that is forgiving and actions that are pleasing to You. Allah, accept me despite all my sins I do not have any good reasons for You. Ya Allah save me from distress and punishment. Make me love for Your sake and nothing else. I beg that my heart is able reach You in pride of your grace. Please Allah take me out of this limited world of diseases and unkindness as I do not fear anything but You and wish to return to You. I want only to be loved by You. I am sorry for desiring more for my own selfishness. I wish for what the eyes have never seen please Allah grant me this I beg you do not make me one of those who earn Your displeasure. Nothing is impossible with You I know this! I believe this! Your mercy alone can grant me the chance to prove this to You. Accept the duas of all my brothers and sisters give them Your infinite mercy. I bear witness your servants have guided me to You, Bless them all forgive me for being deaf and ignorant toward Your creation. I see your beauty in every single one of them. You are the best of judges and will give me what I have earned but I beg you to forgive my brothers & sisters especially those who I have failed to guide to Your light, you love to forgive Allah I know your weakness and I wont let go until You do. Ya Allah I am sincere in this dua to You. I want goodness for all my brothers & sisters of humanity as much as I want it for myself Ya Allah Ya Allah bestow Your mercy on us all. Please give me the wisdom Your hikmah to continue to live for Your name in Your honor La illaha Illala. There is no god but You. My Lord My Lord My Lord My Lord I praise You until the sun rises thank you for this Month of true blessing,understanding and forgiveness for my heart is full of diseases that needs this miracle of a cure You have given us. Please do not make me of the losers in this month. Thank you for granting me everything I wanted in this life. You have given me too much that I have become ungrateful, Take this illness away from me. I praise You for making me of those who You call the khaira ummah. The best of people and by Your grace we truly can be, Muslim. Ameen